


The Way I Feel Inside

by TerribleCreations



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eggsy & Roxy Bromance, Eggsy as Galahad, F/M, Hurt Eggsy, Maybe - Freeform, Maybe fluff, Merlin is like a dad, Multiple chapters, No Idea, POV Second Person, Roxy Is a Good Bro, Unrequited Love, maybe smut, or maybe an uncle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-11-06 04:52:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerribleCreations/pseuds/TerribleCreations
Summary: Based off of the song, ‘The Way I Feel Inside.’ (I saw Sing a month ago and honestly loved Taron’s singing so here we go)





	1. Chapter 1

Eggsy and Roxy found themselves in a bit of a predicament.

To an outsider looking in, the partners appeared to be having a marvelous time. Eggsy twirled Roxy, her scarlet dress catching the light oh so perfectly that it sparked envy into some of the women in the room. Nevermind the fact that her date looked at her as though she were the stars to his moon, and the two appeared to whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears.

But in fact the opposite was true.

“What if they can’t reach us?”

Roxy smiled, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Are you really doubting Y/N’s talents?”

(Your POV)

“Morgana, I must insist-”

You cut off Merlin’s protests with a simple glare. The man held his tongue, but you could see the conflict in his gaze as he rolled his chair beside yours. Your fingers moved with grace, pressing the appropriate keys as you attempted to hack into the most complex system you had met yet: the Kremlin.

“If you even hesitate for too long-”

“Merlin,” you said, clearly exasperated, though not tearing your eyes away from the monitor now. “If you ever expect me to one day take your place, you have to trust in my skillset. Why else would you have sponsored me?”

He didn’t answer, and for that you were grateful. There was enough stress surrounding your current situation, and you would be lying if you said that your main focus was completing the mission. No, it was to make sure Eggsy got out alive.

Not that anyone needed to know that.

(Eggsy’s POV)

“Galahad, can you hear me?”

Eggsy smiled at the familiar voice. “Loud and clear, Morgana.”

Roxy’s shoulders relaxed as they twirled along the dancefloor, now able to focus on their mission without worrying about if they would even make it home.

“Good. I’m looking at the blueprints right now. There’s a hallway somewhat hidden away to your far right.” Eggsy turned his head, allowing his eyes to be yours. “Right behind Ambassador Tolstoy, can you see it?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy confirmed, dipping Roxy so she could peer past the group of fat politicians.

“Do you want me to lead Fyodor over there?” His partner questioned, her eyes already searching the crowded space for the engineer they were meant to kidnap.

Both agents heard a chuckle, most likely from Merlin, when your voice spoke into the comms again. “Lancelot, no offense, but Fyodor does not necessarily go after people like you.” Eggsy could hear the smile in your voice. “Galahad, from what I’ve observed since the connection has been re-established, the man cannot take his eyes off of you.”

Eggsy’s cheeks burned a bright red as he chanced a glance to his left. Sure enough, there stood Fyodor Romanov, a Russian gangster who single-handedly led to the assassination of four Kingsman agents two months prior. The target sipped a glass of cognac, though it appeared he had an appetite for something that would guarantee a more prolonged satisfaction.

“Galahad, all you have to do is talk to him. Maybe flirt a little, maybe a kiss…”

Roxy laughed as Eggsy twirled her around. “You’re not helping,” he grumbled out.

“Merlin will be with you the whole time. Lancelot, I’m going to contact you on a separate frequency; we have something else for you.”

Eggsy led Roxy to the edge of the dance floor, where they removed themselves from each other. Roxy tilted her head to Fyodor, her eyes sparkling. “Have fun,” she said, before walking away to do whatever it was you needed her for.

As Eggsy approached Fyodor, Merlin attempted to give him a few pointers. “Just pretend he’s Princess Tilde.” Eggsy scoffed. “Right, forgot that’s a sour topic. I’m sure from a certain angle he has to look semi-appealing.”

Eggsy shook his head, grabbing a flute of champagne and chugging it. “It’s not that he’s ugly Merlin; it’s just that I can’t–”

“How about Y/N?” Eggsy froze where he stood. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you stare at her. I’m sure that with enough imagination, and more than just one glass of champagne…” He trailed off, hoping Eggsy could follow his method of thinking.

Eggsy siddled up to the bar, right beside Fyodor. Sending the Russian his most charming smile, he whispered to the bartender, “Your strongest. Keep it coming.”

(Your POV)

You leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you tried to will away the headache that was coming on. Too long staring at a screen did that to a person. Add to that the constant worrying about Eggsy… you really needed to sleep this one off.

You felt Merlin’s gaze on you, and dropped your hand to meet it. “What’s wrong?”

“Y/N,” it really never was a good sign when Merlin’s tone was serious, “how long do you plan to go on like this?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” You did.

“After what happened with Dean, I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“If you’re trying to imply I feel something for Eggsy, then you might need more rest than I do.” Not wanting to speak of the matter anymore, you stood from your desk and left, heading for your quarters.

Merlin sighed, shaking his head. It was then his stomach dropped as he saw your comms unit, discarded, but online. He turned it off, for once hoping his agents weren’t listening as they so often didn’t.

But fortune was not on anyone’s side that day.

***

For the next week, a palpable tension rested heavily in the air. In an effort to prove Merlin wrong, you spent the majority of your time overseeing various missions, leaving the array of monitors only to eithe eat, sleep, or use the restroom (though you found that with the help of some friends and a pillow, you could do the first two down there).

Meanwhile, you noticed Eggsy appeared to be a bit down the last few days, when you would see him that is, but you just assumed it had to do with Princess Tilde, who had gotten married that week as well. Remembering how willingly Eggsy went to her once a month, you would be lying if you said you weren’t glad she had gotten married; even Eggsy had limits. Yet that still didn’t mean you enjoyed his sour mood.

One day, you decided to approach Roxy about the subject. You found her in the gun range, eyes fixed in determination as her bullets went through the same hole over and over and over again. In hindsight, her cold stare and rigid posture should have given it all away.

Fast forward ten minutes, and you found yourself in the infirmary, listening to Roxy apologize again and again as the nurse stitched up the result of a bullet grazing your arm.

Not a second later Eggsy comes into the room, his eyes wide as he takes in the scene in front of him. “What the hell happened?”

You cut off Roxy before she could say anything. “Tried practicing in the shooting range again. Now you know why Merlin keeps me off the field.” You tried to smile but winced as the nurse pulled a little too tightly on your skin.

Eggsy nodded, his concern fading before that icy mask fell over him yet again. “Well, after you’re done here, he wants to see you downstairs. Something about a Japanese hacker group.”

Without another word he left the room. You turned to Roxy, who now avoided your gaze. “What the hell is all of that about?”

“He’s just been really upset about Princess Tilde.” She pressed a hand to her comms unit and sent you an apologetic smile. “Sorry I have to go. I’ll make this up to you.”

As she rushed out of the room, you felt a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time: loneliness. Sure, your friends were there (you supposed Merlin counted as a friend as well), but they were all lying to you. For the first time in a while, you felt like an outsider in a place that had come to mean home.

When the nurse cleared you, you headed straight for lower ground, deciding it better to immerse yourself in work rather than face the conflict at hand.

Merlin and Eggsy were standing there, waiting for you. Your superior’s eyes trailed to the bandage wrapped around your arm, to which you shrugged, wordlessly promising to explain it to him later.

“Morgana, thank you for joining us so promptly.” Merlin greeted. He turned to Eggsy, who seemed to be looking at anything except you. “Would you like to tell her or should I?”

Eggsy twirled one of Merlin’s pens in his hands. “You’re the boss.”

What the hell had gotten into him? But you didn’t have much time to contemplate this as Merlin turned back to face you.

“Lancelot is in Tibet for the rest of the month, and, due to the bombing last week, I barely have enough field agents as it is.” He couldn’t be serious. “I need you to join Galahad on a mission.”

You listened to Merlin explain the mission details. It was a usual: high class citizen who exploits their business for the sake of profits. This one in particular is suspected of human trafficking. However, your attention solely remained on Eggsy.

You watched him avoid your gaze purposely. His jaw clenched as Merlin explained the two of you would pose as a newlyweds attending a gala in Paris. Eggsy would be the supposed bastard of some aristocrat who you didn’t bother remembering the name of. The job was simple: get in, grab the banker, and get out.

Unfortunately, when it came to you two nothing was simple.


	2. Chapter 2

It started with the room.

You rolled your eyes as Eggsy flirted with the cute hotel receptionist. He had been silent the entire flight to Paris. Of course, as soon as the attractive woman unbuttoned some of her blouse he was quite the chatterbox.

The hotel wasn’t the best the Kingsmen could offer, but they were being careful with their resources. No one wanted to risk anymore agents getting arrested, which meant a temporary frugal lifestyle for field agents. 

From the outside, it appeared more of a prison than anything. You were sure you had seen the beginnings of a mugging on the ride there, and upon entering you noticed that the cold stayed with you. No heat. In the middle of winter. Lovely.

“Rupert, darling,” you started in the horrid accent your persona called for. Eggsy turned to you immediately, the receptionist forgotten. You yawned, unintentionally proving the point in your next words, “I think it’s time we headed up to our room.”

“Of course, love,” Eggsy replied in the same inflection, though it complimented his voice much better than yours. With a parting wink towards the blushing receptionist, Eggsy joined you in walking to your room.

For a moment there was silence. Then you couldn’t help but state, “You know you can’t be doing stuff like that, unless you want us to be compromised.”

“You’d best be worrying about yourself, Y/N.” He snapped back. “Unlike you, I have more than enough field experience to get this job done just fine on my own.”

You stopped mid-step, forcing him to as well. “Where the hell is all of this coming from?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You being an asshole is what I’m talking about. Ever since you came back from that mission in the Kremlin, you’ve been nothing but rude to me.”

Something flashed in Eggsy’s eyes, an emotion you couldn’t discern due to its swiftness. “Sorry if I don’t shower you with the same doting attention as everyone else at headquarters.”

You took a step back. “Eggsy I thought we were friends. Just because Princess Tilde’s getting married doesn’t mean you have to snap at me.”

“What does any of this have to do with Princess Tilde?”

“I don’t know. You tell me because Roxy says that that’s the reason you’ve been behaving like such a dick. Or is there something else no one wants to tell me?”

Eggsy just shook his head and opened the door to your room. Just the same as the rest of the hotel, it appeared rather dingy. It consisted of only one bed, a dresser, and a TV originating from back in the 70s. You headed into the bathroom, ready to change and sleep this trip away. When you exited, you found Eggsy making a make-shift bed on the floor.

“Really, Eggsy? You’re gonna catch a damn cold if you lay down there.”

“Well since I’m such a dick don’t you think I deserve that?”

“Maybe, but I need my partner to be in tip-top condition for this mission.” Sliding underneath the thin covers, you lifted the other side in a sort of invitation. He hesitated. “Eggsy,” you sighed, your sleepiness present in your voice, “just get in the damn bed already.”

He stood, though he did not appear very happy about it. He slid in next to you, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t appreciate the extra warmth. You turned to face away from him, placing your hand underneath your head as you closed your eyes in an attempt to sleep. 

A cool wind blew from outside. Due to the thin walls of the shithole of a hotel, the breeze came straight into the room. Goosebumps erupted across your skin, and you released a shiver. 

Without any warning, a large, muscular arm wrapped around your waist. You turned to find your eyes centimeters away from a broad chest you had tried your damn hardest not to picture for the longest time.

You glanced up to meet Eggsy’s eyes. If you allowed yourself, you could get lost in them. But what good would that do? He didn’t see you in that way. And after what happened with Dean… you couldn’t fall for another agent again.

“I need you to be in tip-top condition too, you know,” Eggsy whispered, his warm breath fanning over your face.

You snorted in disagreement. “I’m the worst partner to have. Or have you forgotten how I got this?” You motioned to the stitches on your right arm.

He traced them with his fingers, ever so lightly. He remained silent, his attention solely on the wound, before he said. “You know, Y/N, you do this thing with your nose when you lie.”

“I do not,” you scoffed in disbelief. 

He smirked the slightest bit. “Yeah, you do.”

Rolling your eyes, you snuggled a bit closer to Eggsy (for warmth of course). The steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you into a deep sleep.

(Eggsy POV)

I stared at her as she slept. Not that I was being a creep. It’s just… she was beautiful, a real crumpet as the lads would say back home. 

She looked so peaceful as she slept. Gone were the tense shoulders and furrowed brow. Those bags under her eyes, I reckoned she hadn’t slept in ages.

Man… I had really mucked up this time haven’t I? 

Y/N was right, I was being a git. I couldn’t help it though. Her words replayed in my head all hours of the day.

“If you’re trying to imply I feel something for Eggsy, then you might need more rest than I do.”

Was I really that bad? She turned me down before I could even make a move. And now I definitely wouldn’t be able to because…

I released a sigh. Another breeze ran through the room. She shivered and scooted closer until her head rested in the crook of my neck. I couldn’t resist the urge to press my lips against the top of her head. The scent of coconuts invaded my senses. Damn, her hair always smelled excellent.

I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to end my day every day like this. With a better room of course, but me and her, in a bed (not even in a sexual way), with my arm wrapped around her. This felt so much better than waking up every morning with a cold spot next to me, just waiting to be filled by someone… by her.

Man… I had mucked this up big time.

(Time Skip -- Back to Reader’s POV)

You awoke to find yourself laying across Eggsy’s chest, both of his arms wrapped around you securely. For a moment, you reveled in the feeling of someone holding you, of the warmth he gave off. Then you felt something pressing against your upper thigh.

Oh. My. God. You thought to yourself.

Picking up your head, you glanced at Eggsy to find himself deeply asleep. Once again you succumbed to the urge to just watch him and take him in. Sure, it was a creepy thing to do, but could anyone blame you. As you took in his features, you thought back to how kind he had been when you were falling asleep, and hoped maybe he wouldn’t act like a dick and that it had just been a phase.

“I know I’m handsome, darling, but there’ll be plenty of time to stare at the gala tonight.” You stumbled out of your thoughts to see a pair of twinkling blue eyes staring at you. “What do you say to a day out in Paris before we need to get ready, love?”

You nodded your head, your heart warming as you realized he would indeed be in brighter spirits than the past week. With a smile you untangled yourself from his arms, “I’ll go get ready, then.”

(Another Time Skip to the Good Stuff, Don’t Want Any Boring Bits)

You and Eggsy walked through the streets, arm in arm. You stuck close to his side, for his warmth of course. 

Snow was a rarity in Paris, but of course you two had come at just the right day. Sure, it wasn’t terrible, but you were quite susceptible to the cold.

Eggsy didn’t say anything about you clinging to him however. In a way, to you it seemed as though he welcomed it, even going so far as to wrap an arm around you.

He led you to a cafe which he and Roxy had once frequented when they went on a joint holiday. Merlin forced them to take a break from the business, and neither had a romantic partner to spend it with, so the two figured it’d be better to be in the company of a friend rather than alone.

Upon entering, you grinned at the warmth and aroma of coffee. The hostess led you both to a booth and Eggsy took your jacket before allowing you to slide in. You took off your gloves. His eyes slid to the ring on your left hand. A ring he himself had picked out from the Kingsman’s stash of jewelry. 

“Bonjour, monsieur et mademoiselle. Je m'appelle Mathieu. How may I serve such a lovely couple on this fine morning?”

“ _Good morning, good sir. May I have a coffee, black, and a chocolate croissant._ ” You kept your head down so neither male could see your eyes widen and your jaw slacken at just how damn good Eggsy’s French sounded. It rolled off his tongue with ease, as though he truly was a native here.

“Et toi, belle femme?”

“ _May I have a chai latte and a chocolate croissant as well?_ ” Your words may not have been as effortless or as smooth as Eggsy’s, but they would work.

“ _But of course, mademoiselle. Such a beautiful woman must have a lovely name, I assume?_ ”

“Amara Foix,” you replied with a glance to Eggsy.

“ _And I am Rupert_ ,” he introduced.

“ _Well, Mr. and Mrs. Foix, I will bring your order up straight away. It should only take but a few moments._ ” And with that, your waiter was off.

In the time you waited for your breakfast, you and Eggsy talked about multiple things. Your families, your friends, and you even traded some stories from your youth. You had missed this companionship with Eggsy, especially how he could always make you laugh.

When Mathieu came back, you were covering your wide smile with your hand whilst Eggsy just stared at you in wonder. You blushed, and accepted your drink and croissant from the waiter.

“ _How long have the two of you been together?_ ”

“ _Three years_ ,” you and Eggsy answered simultaneously.

“Le coup de foudre,” Eggsy whispered, causing you to blush even more and the waiter to smile out of happiness for us.

“ _You two are very lucky. That sort of love is rare. Let me know if I could be of any more assistance._ ” With that, Mathieu was gone again.

You and Eggsy continued your easy going chatter for a while, but natural calls. “Excuse me, love,” you said, as you stood and went to search for a bathroom.

He watched you go with a smile on his face. Maybe, just maybe, he would allow himself to pretend that this was all real. That you were madly in love with him, that you two really were newlyweds.

No matter the heartbreak it may cause him in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Please let me know what you guys thought of this! Feel free to leave a kudos or comment as well! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked this! If so please leave a kudos and don't be shy to comment what you guys did (or didn't) like about this <3


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